“Aarogya! Aarogya! Aarogya!” chanted the whole team of athletes assembled together on the sports field. Being the host school, almost everyone knew me. But it wasn’t me they were cheering for. It was for Pratiksha, who had just won the Championship Trophy for the Best Athlete in the Inter school athletic meet. Since we were dating, the crowd hailed my name along with hers, when she was called upon the podium for her award ceremony and photographs with the chief guest. I was smiling, and clapping as hard as I could from the back of the crowd. I was so proud of her. She had been the best athlete in the school since primary and this time she clinched the title by getting gold in Long Jump, 100m, 200m and 4x100m relay. With each flash of the cameras, my hands started slowing down. I stopped clapping and steadily moved out of the crowd and towards the water taps. I, too, had represented the school in the Long Jump and High Jump events. I failed in both of them badly. I got 2 fouls in Long Jump and fell just after a height of 1.42m in High Jump. This had been a nightmare for me, since for the first time I didn’t win even a bronze at the athletic meet.
That was enough to make me sad. But what broke me was the thought that today everybody knows my name because of my girlfriend. It seemed like I didn’t have an individual identity of my own. Now, the logical me said that it was alright, its sports and you can’t win always! The more powerful judgmental me however, made me imagine everybody judging me for being a loser and missing out on the medal for the school. They’ll judge me and mock me, how an established athlete like Pratiksha could date a dud like me. The bare thought of this, was scary. My best friend at that time, Tabish saw me and he became worried. He repeatedly asked me what had happened and I told him everything. He tried to console me but I was just too crestfallen. I washed my face and we went back again. I could see Pratiksha on the field looking for me. “I’ve been looking all over for you”, she said as soon as she saw me. I lied that I needed to use the washroom. I smiled and we stayed there for the rest of the award ceremony before I came home.
That night, I couldn’t sleep since the thought of what I was going to do next kept me awake. I figured out numerous strategies to win the next year and make it up for today. The next couple of days, I repented for not winning and sulked. Months went by. We were in the last year of middle school now after our vacations. This was supposed to be one of the most important levels of the school tenure, as we were supposed to give our CBSE Board Examination this year, after which we could choose our desired streams for high school. I didn’t know what I was going to opt for in high school, but Pratiksha had thought all about it. She was going to switch schools after this year as she was not getting the subjects that she wished to study in our school. I became upset that she’s going to leave and I won’t get to see her every day. I talked about it with Tabish and he said, “Don’t worry man, I know you guys would manage it even after everything.” And then I said something totally out of context, “I have to win the Championship trophy this year man! This is my last chance!” And that’s when I decided the first goal of my life: The Championship Trophy.
The Championship Trophy was given every year to the athletes who accumulate the most points out of all his/her events during the 3-day long athletic meet. There were separate categories for boys and girls. A gold medal was worth 3 points, silver worth 2 and bronze worth one. No athlete could participate in more than 3 individual events. I had dreamt to win it since middle school. But there were some seasoned athletes like Tabish, Hammad, Suhaib and Martin. Tabish and Suhaib had already won it once each while the other two were still hungry for it. When I started competing with them, I found that it was totally impossible for me to even come near their points tally. I had won the relay almost every year with my housemates, but only the individual points determined the Champion. Despite all that, the goal was set and now I had to work towards it. I used to go for my basketball practices in the mornings. I started going an hour early just to run, and build up my stamina. Tabish used to come regularly to boost me up and ran with me. I religiously followed the whole practice schedule for about 2 months before the Athletic Meet this year. The thought, that it would be my last chance to be the Champion along with Pratiksha, was the motivating factor all along.
It was December. Everyone was on the sports field, paying no attention to the cold weather and fog. The environment was full of excitement and enthusiasm. There were different enclosures for the 8 different houses, which consisted of students rallying up to support their athletes. The 3-day fiesta was then declared open by the principal of the school. The sports secretary of the school then read the oath on behalf of all the athletes that they would display sportsmanship and not resort to any kind of unfair means. After that, everyone disassembled and went towards their respective enclosures. It was pretty chilly that day, and we were wearing almost two sweaters. First off we had the march past and the band. I had participated in 400m, 800m, high jump and 4×100 relay. On the first day, I had heats for the relay and 400m. Our house relay team won the heats by a gap of nearly 50m and qualified for the finals. As far as 400m was concerned, I came first in my group and qualified again for the finals. My confidence was slowly building up. Tabish got injured while running the heats. He had a cramp and he failed to qualify. When I went to him after the race, he just said, “You’re still in the game. I’ll be there for the next two days for you. If you win it, I think I won it.” I smiled. Pratiksha qualified for her 100m and 200m sprints. Day one was over and I got nervous about my High jump and relay finals the next day.
Day two. High jump was first. Aarib, the winner of last year had crossed 1.50m last year. I was nervous but determined to win. The event started and I could hear the gasps of the spectators whenever someone jumped. I cleared the first three jumps easily. So did Aarib. Only we were left after that. We fought for 3 more jumps and in the end, he broke his own record at 1.52m and I lost. Nevertheless, I tasted silver in the event. 2 points! Next came the relay finals, and we dominated the other 5 teams. All four of us ran brilliantly well. As I was the last runner, I could hear the whole crowd applauding loudly for our team. Gold in this one! Day 2 ended and I had already won 2 medals. Pratiksha won her long jump along with getting the bronze in her relay. Both of us were definitely happy, but my goal was yet to be reached.
Day three. The final day of the meet. I had the finals of 400m and 800m today. Since my left ankle sometimes troubled me while running, I had tied a crepe bandage to it. Later on, this ankle proved to be something even worse (read: The MVP). We had our March pasts and band again. As this was the final day, a chief guest was also invited. There were other drills from the primary section and a dance performance too. Now was the time for 400m finals. There was only one strong competitor remaining in this as Tabish was already out, and that was Martin. Martin started athletics only a year back and became prominent in 400m and 800m. He had won silver the previous year at the Inter School Meet too. I had to plan my run for this race. Our school tracks had a circumference of 200m, so two rounds for 400m. The race started. I was at the 5th position out of 6 till 50m before the 2nd round. Then I took some big strides and started sprinting. I crossed all the others leaving only me and Martin. This was a hard fought race, as we constantly switched leads in the last 70m of the race. In the end, Martin won by a gap of about half a feet and I lost. Silver this time too. 4 points in total! The Championship Trophy was now out of contention for me. And I just lied down on the ground after the race ended. I breathed heavily and closed my eyes, thinking how I missed gold by just six inches. SIX INCHES! That made all the difference. Martin was lifted up by his housemates, while I just lied there. I watched Pratiksha run the 100m and 200m. She won in both. 3 gold medals and there she was, the undisputed winner of the girl’s championship trophy. I hugged and congratulated her. She tried to talk to me, but I just tried to avoid her fearing that all this would haunt me like the previous year again(The judgmental me clearly overpowering my logical side on this one). I watched the boys’ 100m and 200m while sitting at the center of the field.
Just then, something occurred to my mind. Hammad and Suhaib alternately won the 100 and 200 sprints. That meant they got 5 points each(1 gold, 1 silver) and I knew that they only participated in two events. In my mind, I started calculating the points of each athlete who won at different events. These two were the ones with most points. I had 4 and still one race to go, the 800m. Even if I get a bronze in this, I’ll share the trophy with them. If I get something above that, I’ll be the sole champion among the boys. There was hope and it was all I needed. There were 15 more runners with me for the 800m. Four rounds of the track and I’d be the champion along with Pratiksha. Martin had somehow withdrawn from this race because of reasons only known to him. This made my chances even better.
I stood there at the starting line, my heart pounding so hard and my legs trembling. I could see all my housemates, friends and Pratiksha but right now all I cared was, the sound of the clapper in the hands of Mr. Guru, our sports teacher. ON YOUR MARKS! SET! *clap* and the race began just like that. I knew I had enough stamina; I just had to use my speed tactically. I could see about 10 runners ahead me, but that didn’t prompt me to run faster and take a lead. I spent the first round at 10th position. I could hear the applauses of teachers and others for the front runners in the race. I still kept cool, breathing properly while running. Breathing in from the nose, and out from the mouth! I had to save my energy. As we came towards the end of the 2nd round, I took some big strides and got ahead of 3 of the runners. 7th now! I again ran steadily, maintaining a recoverable gap from the leader, Jolly. As the 3rd round was coming to an end I took strides again and gained on another 3 of the runners. 4th now! This was the last round, and I had to recover all the distance. I started sprinting as if my life depended on it. I did not realize that the gap between me and Jolly was now almost a good long 90m. Pratiksha and Tabish’s voices were the most distinguished among those few who were cheering me. That boosted me up. I ran to cover the gap. Later on I was told that I ran so fast that the ones who were ahead me, didn’t even realize that I had passed them. And there I was 2nd. 50m left to cover for Jolly and I was almost 25m behind him. I ran as hard as I could, with all the energy left. I got shoulder to shoulder with him and then something happened. My crepe bandage opened up, due to which I lost a split second. And I lost the race, by a margin of a couple of milliseconds. I fell down there after that, recovering my breath. There it was. Another silver. 6 total points! My friends gave me some water, and lifted me up. Jolly was lying a few feet away from me and was confused why I was getting all the attention when I lost the race.
Like always, at the end of the whole day, all the houses sat in groups during the awards ceremony. I was called up for all the medals and then again something happened. I realized life is not always gonna be how you imagine it. There are going to be twists and turns. And that makes life worth living. Now, what happened was, that Hammad and Suhaib were announced as the joint champions of this tournament during the ceremony! My heart sank again. I went up to the teacher-in-charge and asked her to reevaluate my points. I had 6 and they had 5. There had been a mistake and the faculty realized it a couple of minutes later, when Mr. Guru announced that I was the real champion of the year among boys. There was a huge applause and chanting of “Aarogya! Aarogya! Aarogya!” I received it from the Chief Guest and came back to my crowd. The chorus of my name, which sounded humiliating till the previous year, was now music to my ears. It seemed that my reevaluation changed everything. My house, which had already won Best Marching Squad, won the Relay Shield and subsequently the Sports Cup as well.
Being the one to have made all the difference satisfied the judgmental me and saved me from the blame of not winning gold in any of the events. I was ecstatic to win it alongside Pratiksha. We were proud of one another. As it turned out, my individuality was not dependent on anyone else but me. I made my destiny myself. Who could have thought that someone could be the Champion after losing in all the 3 events that he participated in? Oddly enough, that was the last year when the Championship trophies were given to the best athletes as after that, it was scrapped and only medals were given to the athletes. I had just become the last “Champion” of my school.
Had I not been blamed by judgmental me a year before, I wouldn’t have been where I was that day. I’d still have won a couple of medals without even the considering the possibility that I could be the Champion. For once, the judgmental me was responsible for my happiness as this time I had no regrets. I felt so satisfied that I didn’t search for reasons to be upset about anything.
For once, after a long time, I was neither the logical nor the judgmental part of me. I was just…me…!
The Judgemental Me 